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So, i have never written a post on here before and have been searching ways to kind of get my thoughts out and i thought i would give this a whirl.

Within the course of a month i have had to leave the place I  truly call home, and it has become the hardest thing i have ever had to do. One of my fears is all the memories and people i love there will turn into the past. Friendships will fade and memories will disappear. Thinking about everything that i had is painful because i miss it so much but i don’t want to not think about it because that means i am letting it go and that is the last possible thing i would want to do. Another struggle i have been facing is finding my purpose again. Back home i really started to feel i found a phenomenal group of people that i felt at home with and completed me, but now that i am more that 1,000 miles away everything seems so distant. I guess i have been struggling with my relationship with God as well in that i don’t understand his reasoning behind making me move away. I know that he has a reason for everything but its just really hard to see and be positive about my situation. Again i know that this is not a good outlook but part of me doesn’t want to be OK or happy with my situation because that would mean i have accepted my situation and am ready to move on with my life. The truth is that i don’t want to move on, i want to go back. There is a quote that says something like you will be held back if all you do is focus on the past, but what is there to look forward to the future, it is all blank and i am there standing by myself. I guess i am just at the point where i am bitter and unhappy. I am in a place i don’t want to be and i not where i thought i would be academically at this point in my life.

Before i moved away from home i went rollerblading, which was a mistake since i didn’t take into consideration my clumsiness.  Anyhow i was pretty scrapped up and still have a scar. After a few days of healing i didn’t really want the appearance of my sores and cuts to go away because they reminded me of being back home. My scars reminded me of people, places, and memories that i had. They were things that i deemed worth remembering and things i never wanted to forget. 

So i guess that’s it for now, we will see if i do this again, who knows. 


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If you love america, throw on your best red white and blue outfit and take a few minutes to do this super quick and easy workout to kick off your fourth of july! (no weights needed!)

Arms: 10 pushups 4 sets (lots of 4’s for the fourth!)

Mid section: 40 crunches (try 20 normal and 20 reverse to mix it up)

Everything: 40 burpees

Right and left lunges: 10 lunges each leg- 4 sets

Inner thigh: 40 plie squats

Core: Hold plank for 40 seconds- 2 sets

A$$: 40 Hip bridges and 40 squats

Happy fourth, fitblr!